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Weekend News. On Monday.

Playboy Marge Simpson

So, you went out and did stuff offline this weekend. You had an actual life. And now you’re here wondering if you missed anything good while you were busy having your beautiful life, and you expect me to keep you up to date, don’t you? Well, kids, you’re in luck. I don’t actually have a life, so I can fill you in on some of the latest news.

~Marge Simpson is going to appear in Playboy (on the cover even!). My husband is thrilled to be able to buy a Playboy with my complete approval.

~Lauren Graham (Loralei on “Gilmore Girls”) is making a return to series TV with a role on NBC’s “Parenthood”, a mid-season show based on the 80s movie of the same name.

~The Duggars welcomed their first grandbaby last Thursday. I’m not judging, but Michelle, honey? Maybe a GRANDBABY is kind of a sign it’s time to stop having your own babies. But really, I’m not judging.

~Rod Blagojevich is going to appear on Donald Trump’s “The Celebrity Apprentice.” It’s unclear whether the former governor will be a contestant or will simply make an appearance, and NBC says it’s keeping mum until it’s darn good and ready to tell us what’s going on.

~Continuing to be the poster children for “How NOT to conduct a divorce,” Jon Gosselin, accused of making unauthorized withdrawals, has now accused Kate of making some shady withdrawals of her own. Because “YOU STARTED IT” is always a good defense. Just ask any 8 year old you know.

That’s all I’ve got for now, kids. Happy Monday!

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